Heart

This week we have been learning about the father heart of God. It was way more intense then I thought it would be. So many people here don’t have a father figure in their life. I am so blessed to still have my father in the picture.  I did have some issues that I kept inside from what has happened over the years with them but you can’t expect parents to be perfect just like there is not such thing as a perfect daughter but I was able to see the brokenness that I had built up from them and have forgiven them as I hope they can forgive me for things that I have said to them.

I realized that I have a lot of anger built up and I’m not sure where the seed was planted but in these last couple of years it has been watered like crazy! I can’t blame anyone specific in my life even though some one can come to mind but  I’m still in the process of forgiving. I knew I had a problem when the guys stepped up in class  today and said that they wanted to start being real sons of God. A lot of the guys here have struggled with porn and taking advantage of women and they have been convicted this week to change there out look on things. But when the guys stood up today and the girls where asked to pray for them I couldn’t , I just froze and thought about all the hurtful encounter’s I have had with guys these last couple of years. I kept replaying hurtful things said to me and what was worse is that most of the time they had no idea they were hurting me.

This last Wednesday while I was fasting I had a friend on my heart to pray for her healing and my heart just broke for her. However as I kept praying I got this amazing peace from the Lord telling me not to worry and trust him. Then during break I got a letter from her !  God is so good and I’m so excited to see where he is taking me.  I have more and more peace each day that I am here.  This weekend we are doing a river walk , but I’m not sure what that really is  so we will see. Then after church we might hike up to this waterfall if it doesn’t rain again. It has rained really hard every Sunday for some reason. We hardly get any thunder or lightning, is which super sad.  It Is starting to warm up here which is awesome. 

This week has been really slammed with projects. This Monday we have our CIR’s due, a book report over the book “Is That Really You God?” and memorizing scripture. So it’s a lot like school only we are being taught things for 3 hours and then have 3 hours of “homework”. We also pray for about 2 hours a day along with an hour of worship so its pretty draining. Then on Friday night we got to a hangout place where kids can go to get off the streets so we plat games and have dance parties with them. Its a lot of fun to just hangout with locals and hear their stories.

So I still  have a lot to learn so please keep me in your prayers and to also keep the enemy away. The girls in my room have all been having really bad dreams and we hear random loud thumping’s on our door at night. So just pray that the enemy leaves us alone.

I love and miss you all!




Proverbs 4