Struggle

These last couple of weeks I have been stuck in my thoughts which is never a good thing for me. I tend to over think everything during this phase along with being more inclined to listen to the enemies voice. In this phase I tend to hide, not just stepping away from crowds but also mentally taking myself out of conversations. I am not sure why I do this or how it gets to this point. It's obvious for others to know that something is up with me but I can't even pin point it myself.

I think what is holding me back is not being able to let go. I have to let go of my future plans, family, fears and what I think I deserve. It's no coincident that the Lord has been speaking about having His Joy always. Right now I'm not sure what's holding me back from jumping out of the boat. My eye's are on Jesus but I can't fear the storm when I step out. I tend to fear the build up of the storm but once it hits I know the Lord is with me. So why do I fear as if Jesus isn't with me while the storm is building? Also why do I assume there is always a storm coming? I have to stand strong in His strength and let Him use my weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.


I know the Lord is near and that He is at work. Our Discipleship Training School starts August 19th and lasts till February 1st. During this time I will be doing a short term outreach program in a aboriginal community, going to a national leaders meeting in Canberra and running another Mission Adventure's program. On top of that I will be helping out with the local youth group and co leading the group of service for the students to show the love of Christ locally. I'm also getting the opportunity to be mentored in how to lead worship at my church. Then in November I leave for 2 months to go to India. I will be giving more details on what I will need financially and what we will be doing in India later. So I have a lot on my plate but I am really excited to be trusted with so much. I know the Lord has called me to these things and can't wait to see the fruit they bear for His kingdom.

 

Psalms 34:17-18 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.