Waiting on the Lord

The waiting game has definitely been hard but I know that the Lord has the date so I have peace. I have learned alot about who I am and God's character this summer and continue to do so in this time of preparation. God has put amazing people into my life this summer and continues to amaze me with how much people do love me. I am so excited for this next journey but am so blessed to be having my goodbyes be so hard.

 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 peter 3:8-9

Faithful

As I prepare for a new journey ahead of me I tend to get lost in the planning. I have always had to surrender my desire of control over to the Lord but this time around it has decently been achieved. However now that I have begun the process of giving up control, a new aspect has been pushed on me, TRUSTING. I need to learn that the Lord is faithful. It is a weird concept of having to say that I'm trusting the Lord to be faithful but I am very thankful for the opportunity to experience this characteristic of God.

I know that if the Lord has called me to be somewhere he is faithful to his word.

He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he. -Deuteronomy 32:4

 O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you. -Psalm 89:8

Chicks Man.

I sit here wondering if someday some one could really love me for all that I am. I mean I don't know what its like to be in love with another person. I can only dream, but dreams seem to fade the older I get. I look around me and I can't seem to find a couple so devoted to the Lord that they haven't loss sight of the love they first had for each other. Call me crazy but I want to find a person that helps me grow closer to the Lord on a daily basis. I want to look at him every day and find something new about him whether it be good or different. I never want us to give up on each other. I want to be pursuing him until the day that I die.

I want someone who loves the Lord more then he loves me, and I want my confidence to be in the Lord solely.  I dont want him to need me I just want him to want me.

HOPE.

Today I had a feeling of loneliness, that some how I am missing something. I can't help but look around me and see all the hurt,brokenness and corruption. It hurts to know that people are dying every second from hunger,common cold,AIDS and from unclean water. What kills me the most is that not enough people care to do something about it. I know that we cant fix it all but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to help in some aspects. As the body of Christ we are called to serve. If we can't physically go over there and help them that doesn't mean we can't support someone else to do so or what about something so little that can move mountains, prayer. When is the last time you prayed for something other then yourself, whether that be your job, finances, patience, or safety? There is world out there that needs our help. What is Jesus asking you to pray for? Is it the orphans in India, the women being trafficked in Cambodia, for people to have clean water in Africa, the persecuted churches in Asia or what about your neighbors?

 

This life that we were given is not about us, no matter how the world tries to trick us into believing that, we are here for something so much bigger then ourselves. We are here to share the Good news of Christ so that people who are broken can know the love that God has for them.

 

I found that my hope is not in the world but is in the Lord, this earth is not my home, my home is with my Father in heaven.

 

After you start praying for your brothers and sister around the world, you don't feel so alone.

 

 

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.  For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. - 1 John 2:15-17

Praise!

I am so thankful to be serving a God who is in control and who is so in love with His people. I am so over joyed about how much the Lord actually listens to me, call me crazy but I defiantly haven't been taking notice of all the fine details he has blessed me with. I sit here crying in aw of how wonderful He is. Think about it the God of creation listens to you and grants you the desires of your heart. He doesn't grant them all at once but never under estimate his timing. It is amazing how he uses the little things to change everything.

I know that my God is a God who cares, loves me, and even sent His son to die for me. I still can't even come close to comprehending all that He is but I know He is worth living for.

 Don't be afraid to let Jesus in. I encourage you to take a brick down from your wall and let just a little light in, you would be surprised what a little light can do to a completely dark room.

PSALMS 65

Love

I thought it would be appropriate to write about love on Valentines Day.
As I reflect on what it means to love I realize that I'm pretty bad at it. To say that I always show love without expecting anything back would not be a  true statement. It is a daily thing to deny myself and honestly love my neighbor as myself. It is in us to make sure we are good and it is also in our culture to make sure that we take care of ourselves. I always hear people say, you deserve it, treat yourself and you got it. I mean your aren't suppose to neglect yourself and refuse to eat but I am guilty of mixing up what is a necessity to what I want.

To me love is a word that is over used and has become way to casual. How can we expect  people to believe us when we say we love God then say we love ice cream. To me we have just down graded what love really is. We need to remember what real love is;

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

I don't know about you but I fall short of all of theses, all the time. I mean these are some pretty impressive characteristics to posses. I did  have a new revelation about this scripture today, this is how God loves  us. I mean DUH! I always looked to this verse to figure out what I needed to improve on but totally spaced out about how perfect God's love really is.  To me this is something to dance for joy about, think about it, God loves you this way everyday!  His love never fails !

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13

I pray that you discover the sacrifice of God's true love and set your eyes upon him instead of the distractions of the world. Keep on pressing into him and he promises us that he never fails.

Who Are You Living For ?

As I sit here in my room waiting for God to answer my prayers I wonder “what am I doing”? I don’t want to fall into the same trap of taking control of my life. I gave control to God and I plan on keeping it that way, no matter how hard it is sometimes to just trust. I don’t know about you but I’ve never had to trust God with every moment of my life, I have trusted him in some moments but not all.

As I am trying to figure out the next step of my life I realize just that, I am planning, not surrendering. It is so easy to brain storm alone and add him into the plans when I have it “figured out”. I don’t want to run ahead of God, I want to walk hand in hand with him through this life time.  

In this world the right steps to a “happy “life are to get a degree, a nice car, an attractive spouse,  a house and then have some kids. All the while trying to play the ladder game, the higher you get the more successful you are and that is what determines your worth.  I can say that I my eyes have been opened and I pray that I never fall into the trap of this game.

To me those things aren’t bad but I can’t help but wonder if those things make people happy why God would call his disciples to share everything. Read Acts 4:32-36. I think when we get those things by our own strength we have no need to trust in God because we have made ourselves our own God. We rely on ourselves more than we do him.  I believe we become distracted when those become our priorities and goals. God has called everyone to complete different tasks. If we are too afraid to leave our stuff if we are asked to go, then to me that is a red flag that your stuff is more important than God’s calling. Don’t freak out yet, God does not call everyone to pick up and leave where they are but would you be willing to do it if he asked you?

It is easier for me to leave home because I don’t have those things to think about; however I need to make sure that I keep considering that question in all the stages of my life.  For me the hard part is trusting in him. I know that the next chapter of my life is to trust that he is my provider. This sounds normal but when you are called overseas and only have about 4 months to prepare it can becomes a little stressful if I’m not careful. I know that there is no way to make the amount of money I need to go where he wants me to go. So instead of trying to work my life away I’m going to have a normal job, spend my money carefully and also continue to be investing it in other people. I know it sounds crazy to give away the money that I’m going to make but I’m trusting God’s words “you reap what you sow”.

 At first I didn’t understand the importance of this call but it’s actually a blessing.  God wants me to trust him with everything he wants to be there for me and he wants to prove that he will never leave my side. My hope is that after this chapter I will be able to have total fear of the Lord and put my hope into him. After this my doubts and fears will continue to be something that can’t hold me back. I’m excited to be called to live by faith and it will do just that increase my faith in a loving, holy, all knowing God.

  Romans 8 & Romans 12

1 Corinthians 2

Goodbye New Zealand

Today is my last day in New Zealand I leave for the Airport in 1 hour. I can't believe God sent me to such a beautiful place. I can't describe all the ways I connected with him here. I do  however know that God is everywhere and will still be with me as I return home. I'm so sad to have to say goodbye but I know God has even great things for the future. As I close this door I walk into a new  and opened one. I'm not sure what all God has in store for me but he definitely has my heart and my faith is increasing everyday.

Here are some passages that have encouraged me throughout me DTS.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them. Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. -Psalm 34:4-8

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.                  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

It is better to Love, rather then not Loving at all.

Goodbye’s are so hard here at YWAM!  These 50 people who started out as strangers 5 months ago, have now become like family to me. God I thank you for each and every single person. I would be lying if i said that i got along with every one at every moment but i did learn important lessons with every person. I learned how to make God my best friend and I realized that I am never alone. I learned so much about living in community with so many people. I’m so thankful that God called me to such an amazing place with such awesome people ! I will never forget the impact they had on my life and i will never  forget what God did to me. God deserves all honor, praise and glory! 

As i prepare to head home, it is so bittersweet! I’m going to miss waking up with 8 sisters in my room with only 2 showers and 1 bathroom. Walking to breakfast  with the most beautiful view of the sunrise upon the mountains every morning. Eating corn flakes  every single morning and praying in groups for breakfast for the rest of our day. Having worship at least 3 times a week as a family. It is also going to be really hard not casually talking to people 24/7. This place has become like home.

I am however excited to go home to see all my friends and family. While being sick you forget how much you really miss home. I’m also excited to have my own bedroom and being able to shower whenever i want. I’m so stocked to have privacy and complete quiet time with God Ahh its going to be amazing at times but also super hard because its not the norm any more. The biggest thing will be being able to cook and eat when i want. I haven’t picked a meal or cooked something I liked in over 5 months !! My kind of food is sounding amazing now !! 

Dear God,

You have taught me so much and I can’t begin to thank you for all that you have done for me. Thank you for never leaving my side or giving up on me. Whenever I needed you most, you showed your self to me in some form. Because of your love God, I’m learning how to surrender all that I am to you. You are so beautiful and I can’t believe that I am yours and that you choose me ! I’m learning what its like to be a princess to the amazing King. God, you have humbled and changed my heart for your glory. I am your child and I can’t wait to continue to serve you for the rest of my life.  

Love your daughter,

    Emily Grace

Everyone thank you for all your prayers and support! I can’t wait to tell you all God’s stories and begin to help out with my community. I pray that I will be able to show Christ’s love for the people I come into contact daily. I pray that I may be BOLD and not fear man, but fear the LORD. With God there are no limits to what he can do through a willing heart. I challenge all of you to ask God to reveal to you what he has called you to do in this life, in this moment and this second. Never undermine the position and person God has created you to be. Now is the time to step up and show people the love that Christ has shown you. 

What is God up to now?

We are in Christchurch working with habitat humanity to help serve the people who have been effected by the earth quakes. I'm staying with an amazing family who treat me like one of their own.Paul, the director of it all actually reminds me a little of my dad. We now have our own beds with running water and sinks with hand soap along with toilets that are inside our house. Helen, Paul's wife is an amazing cook and continues to knock our socks off with her dinners and deserts.Unfortunately I'm not feeling very good today and have stayed back with Helen who has agreed that this is the best thing I could do. However I think my team is a little frustrated with me because I have been sick so much and they don't understand that I am trying my hardest without destroying myself. Although I want them to all be my best friends, God is telling me to rest and He comes before man. It kinda sucks because I have been becoming closer to the people we stay with rather then my team. I know God is teaching me that not everyone can be best friends but all I can do is love and that's what I'm trying to do more of. It isn't like we don't get along I just feel like I'm able to be a good room mate and that's it. If you know me I'm the type that has at least one really close friend if not more and I wasn't able to find that in my team, however God truly became that person for me. Instead of turning to my team for help I turned to God and he never left my side. 


I'm not really sure what God has planned next but I decided that it would be best for me to come home sooner rather then later. I want to make sure that my health is ok by doctors I trust. I need to prepare myself for Australia and not burn my self out before I go there. Plus God has given me some projects to complete before I head off on my next adventure that will hopefully leave an impact on my community. I know God has changed a lot of things and has given my a broader perspective on life just like he always does when I complete a stepping stone with him. All I really know is that I want to live for him and everything I touch will fade unless God is the one guiding my hand. 


I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 
                                                                                              -Galatians 2:20

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. - James 1:5

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1 John 16-18

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.  From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.  God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.  ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring. -Acts 24-28

Life of a Rotuman.

Ahh Rotuma was probably one of the hardest adventures of my life. I'm not sure where to begin but I'll start with the description of the Island. There are beautiful white sand beaches everywhere with coconut trees all around that are delicious to eat and drink. However there are 100,000,000 flies that do not leave you alone until the sun goes down and they like to fly all around your food and eat your cuts and get them infected. It was about 110 degrees everyday except on the days that I prayed for rain, which was everyday. I lived like an islander so I got to wash my clothes in  a bucket and hang them on the line to dry. We had running water for about 6 hours a day and were very blessed to get about 10 hours of electricity in the night so we could kind of see where we were going. I took tons of bucket showers which are actually pretty nice when you are always dripping in sweat. The mosquito's were horrible and everyone except me got lots of boils all over. However I had to go to the Hospital which is not what it sounds like cause it was the size of my basement so its very under developed. The two nurses and one doctor were very nice which was basically all the staff. I ended up having to go there 4 times because of stomach pains, extreme allergic reaction, heat rashes and two eye infections. The food was super different because everything was grown by them and there are no stores to buy anything so if you don't make your food then you don't eat and there is never a day of no cooking. We cooked over fire cause there is no stove or burners. I saw one cow, 3 pigs and one goat get killed in front of me. They use axes and knives to slit there throats open, however after they were dead I got to eat fresh meat. I now love fish but only if its fresh from the sea. Overall the food was good but we went without some meals cause we didn't know what was in it.The people of Rotuma are so nice and honestly live with the mentality of "what's mine is yours" which really humbled me to experience this kind of selfless giving.


During all of this God was so near to me even though I had to learn a lot of hard lessons. I learned how to rely on God's strength and not my own which was really difficult when you are extremely sick. I'm still not sure on why God acted the way he did while in Rotuma but some day I hope to understand. Here are a couple of examples of what I am talking about. I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst stomach pain i have ever had. I kept praying that God would take it away and an hour later when he still didn't, I became pretty angry cause God being God I knew he could heal me. So when he didn't i decided if i went out side and yelled at him he would change his mind. This didn't work, I fell straight to my knees in pain when I made my way out side and when i was about to let him have it, i looked up to the sky ( so he could hear me more clearly when i would begin to yell) and the stars were breath taking, all my anger dissolved. I have never seen such a star filled sky in my entire life and even more comforting I felt like Jesus was sitting right next to me. Of course he didn't heal me but he comforted me and it was almost like He was saying i have your attention now.

The next example is when my face blew up like a balloon with a itchy,burning rash and all my energy was takin away from me. I went to the hospital again cause the prednizone, antibiotics and cream hadn't helped. So there i was lying in the bed with a burning butt cause they just gave me two shots and a pretty messed up face. The worst part was that the rest of my team was leading a children's bible camp in a village. If you know me then you know how much i love kids so you can imagine how frustrated i was not being able to work with the people i'm good with , children. So here i was about getting frustrated with God as to why i was here and not there and i was ready to try to give it to him again. Just as i was about to give up the older lady come out of no where and pulls up a chair and starts talking to me. I tell her my story about Jesus and at the end of our conversation she offer's to buy me ice cream. Let me fill you in on something, ice cream is like gold in Rotuma, its the first item that goes and its the most expensive. So i was really takin back because ice cream was almost a memory to me but i said no thank you but she persisted and next thing i knew she got  nurse to bring me back a whole tub of blitz ice cream. When i received it i seriously felt like God sent me an angle and there again he was sitting right next to me, not saying a word but almost smirking at me cause he knew i couldn't be angry at him.

God knows that I love stars, rain and wind and every time something came up that i didn't understand at least one of these things would capture my attention. God also knows that ice cream, chocolate and pizza are my favorite comfort foods, which also happened to be the 3 hardest items to get on the island, and would some how provide these for me free of charge when I was at my lowest.I believe God wanted me for himself this trip and he doesn't want me to burn myself out cause he plans on using me for the rest of my life. I needed to learn how to slow down and wait on him.

God revealed to me that i need to rely less on my control and trust in him and his plans. Just like in Jeremiah 29:11 God says he has good plans for my life.He asked me do I want to be comfortable in the worlds ways which will amount to nothing or do i want to live faithfully by his word?  It is a really hard thing to actually do when you have to live in the world. I'm learning how to be in the world but not live by the ways of the world.  God also planted goals for me to do in the season of preparing for Australia. I'm really excited to start living for him every moment not just in the future moments to come. God also gave me a better understanding of how wonderful my friends and family are at home. I'm so thankful for them and their love. God is stirring up some great things and i can't wait to be apart of them. 
Therefore we do not lose heart.


Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. -- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18