LAST POST BEFOER OUTREACH!

Hey guys this is my last post till February. We leave for Fiji tomorrow at 5 am and its so sad to say goodbye to people we have become so close too. I have distance myself but not to the point of being totally hidden. I can’t explain how these 12 weeks have totally transformed my life. I’m so excited to start this new adventure with people i hardly know and share the love of Christ to strangers. God is up to huge things for these next 2 months. I’m expecting miracles and for the kingdom to be expanded. Please continue to pray for me and my team; Amanda, Matt, Clayton, Kevin, Matchuie, Kristin, and Carly. We are all so random yet perfect together. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Love you all ! 

Amazing Love

          Ahh!! Sorry for again not being consistent in updating, like i said earlier we have been so busy !! So i will try to catch you up on what God has been doing in my life the last couple of weeks. I have still been learning the lesson on how to receive Gods love. I have discovered that it is hard for me to receive love from others because i feel as if my story isn’t worth it or a big enough concern to worry about. However this is a lie from the devil because every thing i have gone  through can be a testimony to use for Gods glory and i need to stop under estimating my problems because that helps no one. I have also learned that i have had a lot of built up anger and rejection that i won’t fully go into but i had some resentment for God because i felt as if i had to say good bye to every good friend that i had because i was on a different journey. However God is faithful and goodbyes aren’t really goodbyes and its better to have loved then not love at all. Also with being here its really hard to know that in 2 months i will have to say goodbye to everyone i became family with and that destroys me. However i’m learning not to distance myself from others because “its easier” to say goodbye when you have begun to drift. So instead i’m finishing this last week before we split up into our outreach groups on a strong note of friendship. 

I have also learned that i have put God into a lot of boxes. God is a God who we as humans will never understand so we need to stop breaking him down into equations just to ease our little minds. We need to have more faith, after all faith is what makes love grow deeper with him. I need to do less talking and a lot more loving. I want God to be God, not just what i have created him to be. I need to have more fear of the Lord, he is a God of love but i under estimate him all the time. This concept got me thinking about how much i trust him. Do i really trust him enough to give him everything? Do i trust him enough to give him the right to have a husband to have kids or a house? Do i trust him enough to give him my dreams to do great things? I get so caught up in what will i do for him next year and worry about where i should staff but do i take time to trust him in this moment? Its easier to say that i will do this amazing thing for him in the future but all i have is this moment to listen to the Spirit. Sometimes this is scarier because what if the Spirit tells me to go somewhere now not in 5 months when i will get all the money together. I’m learning that this moment is the only true moment i have to love and what i do right now will effect my future so i need to live in the moment now, not tomorrow. 

God however has given me so much hope for the future and i’m really excited to see how he uses me for his glory. I’m not really sure how God will provide or even know how to truly trust in him but i plan on learning on how too, starting this moment, right now. He has planted small goals into my heart and huge goals that i can’t even believe because they seem way to good to be true but i have a lot to learn before i begin. Also i  don’t want to just love Jesus because i don’t want to go to hell i want to love him with all that i am. I want to love him for more then just my salvation.Read luke 9:23 for what true salvation is. God wants us to be more then just church attenders, he wants us to learn how to love like he loves us. 

I have been given the opportunity to take 12 weeks out of my life to get my heart focused on God. He has used this time to totally transform everything about me. He has brought up my fears, insecurities, dreams and is teaching me what to do with them. Now as the last week of receiving knowledge and training ends the time is coming to give everything i have received to the people in Fiji, Rotuma and Christchurch. I’m excited to spend two months with a group of 8 people on outreach to show the love of Jesus to people who need to hear it. It will be really challenging but God only gives us what we can handle and he will be there every step of the way. Please pray for our team as we embark on this new chapter together that will change our lives forever. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those ho love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28

heart transplant

God is changing my heart daily! I don’t even feel like the same Emily that left 9 weeks ago. I don’t have a lot of time to blog because we have become so busy!! We are seriously doing stuff from 7 in the morning till 11 every night. Its crazy but good. God has still been teaching me how to receive love. It sounds silly but its actually a really hard lesson to learn, i didn’t realize how many walls i had up. However God is removing each stone when its needed. I am becoming more confident in Gods plans for my life. They almost seem to be to good to be true but i’m learning how to take God out of the box i’ve created him to be in. I’m learning that he is always faithful and i’ve heard testimony over and over how He has provided every need for people. This gives me confidence in His call for my life. I still need lots of confirmation before i start speaking about what He wants me to do but as of now i’m coming home for a couple of months then potentially staffing somewhere for 2 years. I’m just taking things day by day and seeing where He leads me. Its really scary to live by faith but i can’t see me doing it any other way. I love and miss you all!!!!